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* Goes on date *
* looks around *
“I’m sorry, will the dog in your profile photo be joining us?”
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“your eyes hella red u been smokin??” no I been crying bitch leave me alone
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I really … don’t know what the mom expected… I really do not
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dont get all ur social and political views off of one-sentence tumblr text posts with no depth or explanation
how am i supposed to take this advice then
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this is the greatest tweet of 2018
How could you leave out the best reply?
I think Anna Kendrick and Kristen Stewart are the only actors from Twilight people still remember. Also Rami Malek but nobody remembers he was in Twilight at all.
RAMI MALEK WAS IN WHAT
Rami Malek was Benjamin in Breaking Dawn part II
NO FUCKING WONDER EVERYTIME I SEE HIS FACE I WONDER WHAT MOVIE HE WAS IN WHAT THE FUCK
Lee Pace was in it too lol
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never underestimate the power of a low quality webcam to make you look good in a selfie
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friend: are you alright?
me: *finger guns* no!!!
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